I flew all over the country in the last couple of weeks and each of these flights had one thing in common – the safety demonstration announcements that entails seat belts and the emergency exit and all that good stuff. However, the part of the announcement that usually grabs my attention, after the preceding pleasantries, is this:
“…..Oxygen and the air pressure are always being monitored. In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask. If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person. Keep your mask on until a uniformed crew member advises you to remove it…”
Now, in my little experience with motherhood I have come to realize that there is usually the tendency to always assist the other person first – either the child or children (as the case may be) or the husband. As mothers, we instinctively put other people before ourselves which seems to be the natural thing to do.
There is an adage in my mother tongue that says that “when there is a fire outbreak in one’s home, it is expected for you to try to put out the fire on your own clothing first before helping others”. Again, in reality that is not what mothers seem to do. Mothers keep giving and giving till all there is left to do is even more giving.
Nevertheless, there is usually a limit to which we can stretch ourselves as humans. Hence, the need to be reminded on the essence of self-care as moms. Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health. Mothers have to assume an active role protecting their own well-being before that of others especially during periods of stress. You are the custodian of your own happiness. Self-care is usually deliberate and self-initiated. It is commonsensical right? Simply because it obviously has “self” in it.
Here are a few ways to self-care as moms without feeling any iota of guilt.
1) Never joke with your beauty sleep.
You need it. No bingeing on Netflix when you should be sleeping. Someone, somewhere, somehow is going to pay for it the next day and it won’t be pretty. The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7-9 hours of sleep for adults 26-64 years and 7-8 hours for adults 65 years and older.
2) Be okay to say No sometimes.
You do not have to attend every social gathering. Don’t feel pressured into attending parties you know you cannot afford to attend for the sake of your own well-being. Your schedule is already crammed enough. Take care of yourself and be happy to say no without feeling any guilt.
3)Cut down on the caffeine.
I know some people literarily function on coffee, but you need to cut it down. I rarely ever take coffee and if I have to, it is usually decaffeinated. Many people have become seemingly addicted to coffee with symptoms of anxiety and agitation when they don’t drink coffee. High consumption of unfiltered coffee (boiled or espresso) has been associated with mild elevations in cholesterol levels. In turn, elevated cholesterol level is associated with heart disease.
4) Drink a cup of water first thing in the morning.
This helps rehydrate the body and increase the level of your alertness. Also, it helps fuel your brain activity since the human brain is made up of 73% water and eventually boost your productivity.
5) Turn off the Tech.
Just shut it all down and wind down in a corner with a nice book and a lovely cup of tea. No Facebook, no facetime, no Instagram, no Watsapp, no Linkedin, no twitter, no pinterest, no TV, no I-pad, don’t even check any emails. Just shut it all off and savor the quietness. Enjoy the quietness and chill from all the buzzing of life in the fast lane. Enjoy being bored for once. Take pleasure in doing ‘nothing’.
6) Give yourself a treat.
Take yourself for a synchronized body massage. Do your manicure and pedicure. Make your hair. Put on some Yankee candles. Go for a sauna session. Take yourself out on a shopping spree. Buy yourself an ice-cream cone. Go watch a nice movie at the cinema with large-sized popcorn and a drink. Schedule a lunch date with a girl-friend of yours. Take a girl’s trip to a destination spot. Have a staycation for a personal retreat. Just do whatever you need to do. You deserve it.
7) Have a mini dance party at least once a week.
This doesn’t have to be elaborate just put on your favourite song and dance away for some minutes. Nothing fancy just you doing your thing. I do this usually on Saturday mornings and my two little toddlers join my party. Plus, it’s a great form of exercise.
8) Take five minutes to Decompress.
No matter how crazy your day goes, always find five minutes when you just wind down, chill and basically do nothing for those precious minutes. Do not think about the next menu, what the children would wear to school or that big project from work. Just shut it all down and in quietness “reboot” your body system in those five minutes.
9) Move for at least half an hour each day.
Be it thirty minutes of brisk walking or some form of aerobic exercise. If you are able to make it to the gym, that’s fine. If all you could get is a brief lunchtime stroll, that’s also good. Just get moving and pump some fresh air into your lungs.
10) Observe your Kegel exercises.
This helps in toning and strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. The Kegel exercise is best described as what you do by holding your pee-pee mid-stream while urinating ,but that is not ideal. You should squeeze your pelvic floor muscles for about ten seconds. You can do three reps at a time. Then, altogether you can do three sets each day. The good thing is that nobody knows you are doing it. Apart from the fact that it helps women with stress incontinence, it also improves your sex life.
The simple logic of self-care is that you cannot pour from an empty cup, you have to fill your cup first.
You need all the oxygen you can get. So go ahead and ensure you secure your own mask first. If you do not take care of yourself as a mom, who will?