I had just moved to a new state and had to get a new primary care physician. I had a complaint for which I needed medical attention so I went into the clinic to see the family physician. However, I had to do the preliminary form filling and all. There was a space in one of the questionaires asking for my occupation and my employer. For starters, at that time “t” I had no employer and for the profession, I hesitated a bit before filling “housewife”. That is a profession and a full time one for that matter. Initially, I felt bad for hesitating. I felt like I had denied my “real” profession. I felt like I just made inconsequential all the years I spent in school and all the years I spent in UK practicing medicine. To voluntarily deny the years it took me lots of sweat and blood to get. On the other hand, I wondered why on earth was I feeling bad that I had filled ‘House wife’ on the form. That is a glamorous profession for the love of mike. Actually, why do I have to choose ? Perhaps I should have filled into the space ” Full time house-wife and Medical doctor”. Anyway, I couldn’t have done that because I had to choose one. So, I chose house wife with pride and decided to be the undercover doctor.
I decided not to wear my title as a badge because I realized from previous encounters in the past that it had a way of changing the dynamics of my interaction with others. Once the doctor knows I am a doctor, that keeps them on guard and on their toes. Were they not supposed to be on their toes regardless of the profession or status of the patient? All patients are supposed to be treated equally and with utmost respect. Something usually happens when the doctor knows I am a doctor and I don’t like it. There is a terminology called the Hawthorne effect in Epidemiology which involves the alteration of behavior by the subjects of a study due to their awareness of being observed. I understand there is a way you want to treat a colleague differently, even though it is subtle, simply because of the hippocratic oath and also because they cannot be bambozooled by medical jargons because they know.
I have actually had a few times when I had my cover blown. I remember when my son just had a surgery and I stayed with him overnight post-surgery, the nurse assigned to us for the night came to check up and asked if I had any questions. I asked her if I should be worried he had not passed urine in the last 12 hours. Then she acted surprised and told me actually that was a good question. Of course that was a freaking good question! Then she asked if I am in the medical line, so I told her and got my cover blown! Fortunately, my son passed urine few minutes after that.
There have been at least five pandemics in the last 140 years. The 1918 influenza pandemic is the most severe pandemic in recent history. Since many of us are a little apprehensive about sending our children back to school in a pandemic, it is crucial to talk about the essential things we need to equip our children with to protect them even as they go back to school to get their minds educated. Many children will do virtual learning. Some parents have chosen in-school learning while some chose hybrid learning. You know what is best for your child, your family and your sanity and we respect that. Whatever method of schooling you have opted for well done for your resolve to ensure that these children get an education which is a great legacy to give to our children. Just a few reminders on things that would be needed this new school year.
Face masks
I am sure you could have guessed this was going to be number one. We are a special breed of parents here and we deserve some accolades. We are making history. The last time parents had to send their kids back to school in a pandemic was perhaps over a century ago.
Hand sanitizers
Hand sanitizer is a crucial to addition to your back-to-school list this year. This is quite unusual but what is normal about this season anyway? There is a pandemic. You can get cute little ones to put in your little ones bag packs.
School Uniforms
Of course, school uniforms are crucial and they have to be prim and proper. If your kids have to wear regular clothing, you need to shop for those too and make sure they are quite fancy. There is just something nice about having new set of clothes and shoes for children. Apart from that, they grow so fast too. So the set of clothing they wore comfortably six months ago cannot fit any longer.
School Supplies
Many schools would probably be providing the school supply this season and if not, you have to get all those ready as well. The crayons, sharpeners, the pencils, bibles(if your children are attending a Christian school), the water bottles, the lunch boxes and a host of other things on your list.
A knowledge of safety
You need to equip your children with a knowledge of safety especially when they would not be under your watchful eyes as they go back to school. You have to remind them over and over that they need to always wash their hands and use their hand sanitizer. Not to touch their faces, to wash their hands before eating their lunch and snacks. I am sure the school teachers would help with this. I know this school year would be like no other, children would not really be able to hug each other like before due social distancing, but we just have to help them understand the value of safety.
Alright parents and guardians, I wish you and your wards an amazing school year. One full of fun memories to be cherished for life.
“Hard times are sometimes blessings in disguise. We do have to suffer but in the end it makes us strong, better and wise.”
I know we are in a pandemic and we are making history too. We are part of a tale we would tell our generations yet unborn. I know we do not need a prophet to tell us that everyone is going through tough time right now in varying degrees. Especially if you have to go through this phase with little children. That is a lot of work. Believe me, I feel your pain. It calls for a lot of added responsibilities considering that they have to stay at home since most schools and day cares are closed and for those opened, many are quite reluctant to send their children back just yet. Therefore, the purpose of this post is to share with you some of the things I do with my little ones. This is not the ideal situation but what can we do? As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Moreover, based on my experiences, I have imbibed a philosophy that I really should not wait for the storm to pass , but rather learn to dance in the storm. Therefore, I came up with a list of fun things I do with my little ones during these precarious times which you can try if you like.
Painting
This is one on the most favorite things for my young ones to do in the world. It makes them so happy and they derive so much joy from just creating whatever they decipher from figments of their own imagination. Here are some of the “picasso standard” paintings they did.
Art and crafts
This is something that usually cost me a lot because I have to guide and guard the process otherwise we would not have the expected result or worse still there would be a grand mess. Here are a few of the crafts they did to exhibit only a few of the numerous crafts they have done in the last few months.
Making inventions from recycled products
I am a very strong advocate that nothing in this world should ever go to waste so I recycle and teach my children to recycle too. From recycled “raw materials” my son built a space rocket from cut card-boards, an empty carton, kitchen towel brown cylindrical rolls and glue. I give him full credit for this. He did that all by himself. I came home from work one day and he excitedly showed me his invention which would be pictured below. He also built a tower from left over tin cans.
Reading
One of the precious virtues I instilled in my little ones is the love of reading and an affinity for books. So any store we enter, we must visit the book aisle. Before, covid happened , we had borrowed about twenty books from the local library -ten for each child, so we had no choice but to read those books over and over again. They loved it.
Fixing Puzzles
Don’t we all wish sometimes that life is that simple such that you find the related pieces, connect them together and it’s done, it’s perfect. Unfortunately, life is not that easy. For Christ’s sake, we are in a pandemic. Anyway, here are some of the puzzles they did. Words could not do justice to their joy when they put them together.
Homemade lemonade
They tried hands on their own special lemonade with an orange twist that we called the “orangeade”. It tasted good too.
Bubbles
I still do not know why children get mesmerized by bubbles. Our little ones got to play with bubbles a lot but there was an instant when they made this particularly giant bubble and I had to take a picture of it.
Science Experiments
We usually do a lot of experiments especially since we have little people who want to become scientists. I will have to do another blog for that, but here is a picture of our latest experiment on appreciating colors using food coloring, milk, jello and an empty egg carton.
Watching the Sunset and Stars
What can be more fun and relaxing than that watching beautiful sunsets? It is like a free film show offered by nature. Also, my son got a telescope for his third birthday and ever since has been curious about see stars.
Nature walks
We took several nature walks in our neighbourhood. My goal is that my children have an appreciation and a love for nature. I got them plants to care for and they love taking care of them. This also help to teach responsibility.
Nothing
There were times when we simply did nothing. We just laid there on the floor and just did breathe. There is a peace that comes from just staying still. Let your children breathe !
These are some of the things we did in this season. Please feel free to share some of the fun things you do with your children to keep them entertained and engaged at such a time as this. Continue to wash your hands, use hand sanitizer, cover your sneezes, avoid crowded gatherings, maintain social distancing and be safe.
“Children see magic because they look for it.” – Christopher Moore
Hello everyone. I am so glad to be back again. I have taken a very long break from my mom blog. Life has basically happened to us all. Need I say more. As you all are aware that the year 2020 has decided to take us on a roller coaster. Covid 19 took us all by surprise, rocked our lives in very monumental ways and the world as we knew it would never be the same. As we say in medicine, things might never really return to the original baseline. Honestly and personally, a lot has happened to me this year. I would share as time goes on. Someone comically described the events of this year as a horror movie. It is unbelievable that close to a hundred thousand lives have been lost to this pandemic. It is quite disturbing.
Schools, churches, businesses have been shut down, while a lot of things have been cancelled including proms, graduations, vacations, conferences etc. A lot of people have lost their jobs. It is a scary situation and these are uncertain times.
Now the question for us as parents is how do we help our children navigate these times without jeopardizing their mental, emotional and physical well being all together?
That is why I came up with these following tips to help your children thrive through these times.
Tell them the truthbut allay their fears.
Whether you like it or not, they know that something is wrong. They know things are not right and many of them especially the older ones are scared and anxious. Many are confused as to why they cannot go to school or the daycare or see their friends. My daughter daily talks about missing Lollianna, her best friend. It is a sad situation but you have to be the voice of calmness in the face of the storm. You have to be strong and help them realize that this is a phase in our history and it will pass. Make it a teaching moment to help them realize that no condition is permanent, that the storm will pass, that the day would break and that the sun would shine again.
Educate them on the virus.
As least age-appropriately in a way they will understand. Tell them the facts, not necessarily going into the deep pathophysiology of the disease but especially emphasis ways to protect themselves with special focus on proper hand washing. Covering their sneezes and wearing a face mask whenever you have to go out. Since the stay home restrictions are being eased. You cannot give what you do not have, therefore you want to make sure you educate yourself too. Listen to the news but don’t imbibe the fear. Keep abreast of what is going on. I see a lot of adults at the mall with face masks on while leaving their kids’ faces uncovered with a mask. My guess is that such parents are still stuck with the belief that children are “immune” from the disease. That is not correct especially in the light of the new Multisystem inflammatory syndrome in children which is a condition caused by covid-19 in which various parts of the body parts including the heart, lungs, kidneys, brain, skin, eyes, or gastrointestinal organs are inflamed. Protect your children. Help them ensure they pay attention to all the preventive actions against the disease especially handwashing.
Maximize this time.
Believe it or not you will never have this time back in your lifetime. Your child is currently five years old, that child would only be five once in his or her life-time. That daughter of yours will only be ten once in her lifetime. So if you miss this special opportunity to pour yourself into your children in this pandemic despite your own personal struggles, you miss out of a big opportunity. So rather than complain about how frustrated and exhausted you are, be grateful first that you have healthy kids and have been saddled with the task of nurturing healthy children with rock-solid core values who would stand tall in the face of any ‘pandemic’ life throws their way. Do not fail the universe. Do not miss out on these time. When you get off your zoom call, play games with your wards, bond with them. Teach them to cook. Paint with them. Get messy with them. Laugh with them. Be physically and emotionally present. Basically, pour your time, energy and entire self into these precious ones.
Pray with your children.
Praying with your children provides succor and reassurance that despite what might be going on, there is someone up there, a divine force looking out for them. We pray every night with our children. We get to hear the cutest prayers from a three year old and a five year old. I smile when they say things like “Dear God, take the corona virus away and help those who are sick feel better.” Pray with your children, pray for your children. Max Lucado said and I quote ” Our prayers may feel awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.”
I hope you find all these tips helpful. Till when next I come your way, wash your hands, wear a face mask, practice social distancing and stay safe.
We had a family vacation earlier in the year and it was lovely. Since a lot of people would be traveling around this time or in the coming months, I just want to share some important tips I believe moms should pay attention to.
A friend mentioned to me that going on vacation with kids is just basically still taking care of children only in a different location. Just like a change of venue for your routine responsibilities. Perhaps in a much nicer place and with lots of sunshine. I quite agree with the person, but something is better than nothing! You just have to make the best of every situation. Listed below are things to bear in mind as mothers when you go on vacation with your child or children.
Make sure everyone takes a bathroom break before setting out. If you have a baby, make sure nappy is changed. You do not want to set out with irritable babies. Irritable babies/ kiddos and vacation simply do not go together.
Let the shower run first to reduce risk of Legionella pneumonia. Whenever you get to your hotel room, always allow to water from the tap or shower head run for few minutes before you attempt to use the water or get a shower. Legionella bacteria is type of bug that is dispersed in airborne water droplets, so the spray created by a shower is the perfect delivery mechanism. Anyone using a contaminated shower risks breathing in the bacteria and developing Legionnaires’ disease as the bug takes hold in the lungs. That can cause pneumonia which is a type of infection of the lungs. Nobody wants that, so you might want to pay attention to this fact. This is because the bacteria can easily grow in pockets of stagnant water through any water outlet, especially in shower heads. I am a doctor by profession, therefore you can guess that there will always be an infusion of useful medical tips.
Always pack Tylenol if travelling with kids. In addition to a miniature first aid kit for scrapes and bruises, you want to include Tylenol on your packing list for a vacation. You are not trying to be a harbinger of ‘doom’, but preparation is crucial in life. Especially with kids. Of course , if the child is running fever unabatedly for more than 24-48 hours with worsening symptoms, go to the nearest hospital to you.
Always make the children especially the pre-schoolers and toddlers ‘pee’ before leaving your hotel room. This is to reduce number of bathroom breaks. You want to reduce the frequency of contact your kids have with public toilets no matter how impeccably clean they are. Another quick tip is to always go for toilets that are at the extreme ends away from the entrance because most people typically opt for the closest one. You want to choose the least used option for your children! That is the smartest thing to do. Of course, you do not need a prophet to tell you to always use toilet seat covers. If for some reason there are no seat covers, what I do is double a layer of toilet roll on each side of the toilet seat and allow the child seat. If I feel so strong, I carry the child up with absolutely no contact with the toilet bowl. It is a win-win situation for both the germophobe of a mom and happy child who finds mom’s gymnastic moves quite fascinating.
Always have a pack of sanitary wipes and sanitizer in your bag. Did I just mention to you I have a tinge of germophobic tendencies? My knowledge of micro-biology in med school does not help very much either. Then, you will be more understanding of my stance. There are germs everywhere and so you want to keep your children safe. Especially, when you are on vacation and really cannot wash your hands and your children’s hands all the time, you have to make do with sanitizers and sanitary wipes. It is not every fast food joint that readily provides hand sanitizers. Plus when hunger is added to the mix, a piece of french fries could reach the mouth faster than you would find your way to the nearest wash hand basin. Everyone must wash hands after each adventure. Now you know why.
Don’t make the mistake of eating out all the time. Pack some home-cooked food. Maybe enough for one meal. At least your family gets some good, home-made meal before the vacation diet kicks off. Most hotels have a micro-wave oven. Pack cereal. Eat left overs. This is economically wise. Plus you will be so amazed at how much left overs can easily accumulate. I personally do not like wastage, so I make my family eat left overs. We paid hard-earned dollars for them anyway.
Pack the children’s multivitamins and meal supplements. With all your packing, it is important to pack the children’s multiviamins. You don’t say because you are on holiday, then your kids miss out on important multivitamins to make for healthy growth of their bodies and brain. For me, I have a child who is a picky eater, so I always pack some Pediasure with me. Whoever invented that thing is a genius.
Pack activity kits for the kids. This should include their favorite books, bible and devotional, coloring pencils and plain papers or activity books. This could literally save your life. It would give you some breathing space while the kids are still well engaged.
Take sunscreen. This is especially important in the summer months. You want to protect your children from the ultra-violet rays of sunlight.
Pack extra grocery bags for make shift laundry bag . The purpose of this is for used items like soiled clothes, dirty socks and underwear. Some people pack disposable things to be used. Whatever works for you and your budget is fine. You can still be organized in a way while vacationing and having a good time with your family.
Don’t use all the drawers in your hotel room. This is to reduce chances of forgetting anything. You can use the top layers, but that’s it! Actually, I avoid using drawers all together. Whenever, you are ready to go home after your vacation, always ,double-check all drawers, check every single room, including bathroom. Try to check the floor or under the bed for anything of value especially a credit cards or your phone charger.
I hope you found these tips really useful and would bear them in mind on your next family vacation.
“The greatest legacy we can leave our children is happy memories.“ — Og Mandino
Hello ladies. I bring to you another really enlightening and inspiring interview with an amazing lady who is an epitome of humility and friendliness. Her unassuming persona makes her one of my favorite ladies of earth. She is beautiful both inside and outside, highly cerebral, very brilliant and multi-talented. You all would agree with me that for you to be a medical doctor with a masters degree in Public health, working at the CDC(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) based in Atlanta, Georgia, is a feat only for an intelligent mind.
It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I just gave birth to a brand new human being and I had no idea how I was going to cope, survive and nurture the little one, but someone showed up to visit me at the hospital bearing gifts and providing reassurance. It was so precious and I will forever treasure that. Meet the super-mom of this week, Dr Bunmi!
What is your name?
Olubunmi Akinkugbe (Bunmi)
What is your favorite colour?
Cobalt blue
Best Food?
Fruit + Veggie Smoothies
Can you tell us about yourself?
I was born and raised in Ibadan, Nigeria, the third of four girls to a college professor and high school math teacher. Needless to say studying hard and getting good grades were non-negotiable. I went on to obtain my medical degree, subsequently specialized in public health. I’m currently in public health practice, and member of the uniformed service with the U.S. Public Health Service. Outside of work I sing in my church choir; I run a ladies mentoring group called “The Sophisticated Appeal”; and recently launched “Thrive-in-the-US” – an inspirational community and career consultancy for immigrant women. Married for 15 years now to my loving and supportive husband Oluwafemi, and together we’re raising three kids.
How many kids do you have?
Three: Two boys and a girl. Interesting fact: my second and third were born on the same date three years apart.
What is your mommy mantra?
God’s grace is sufficient for me. “Everything will be okay”!
Your most craved food in pregnancy?
No special craving. Enjoyed meals prepared by others more than meals I prepared…
Hardest part of being pregnant?
Last trimester when every day felt like a week, Lol! Also, being in labor for extended periods the first two times and making very little progress. Gladly agreed to have C-sections for all 3. No regrets! Just happy and grateful to have a healthy mom and baby.
First thoughts when you first saw your baby?
Awe, Gratitude. Pregnancy and childbirth is still the greatest miracle on earth in my opinion. When an individual who didn’t exist before is formed, grows and develops. It constantly keeps me in awe of God’s greatness.
How can you describe your motherhood style?
Principled, excellence-focused, and loving-fun! Raising kids involves so many interesting phases – some are smooth sailing, some challenging, but each phase will pass and roll into the next and before you know it they’re all grown up. Just keep trusting and doing your best.
How do you balance motherhood and life generally (with career, marriage, business, etc)?
Establishing routines that make things run smoothly. Prioritizing the needful, and letting other things be, even when they seem somewhat important; if it’s not a priority it has to get in line, or let go. Taking breaks, rest, family time and vacation seriously. Getting help and assistance. Finding a support system in family and friends. God’s grace carries me through everyday, I acknowledge it always.
Can you tell us an interesting/funny experience you had as a mom?
So many of them – kids are amazingly special. Ever since age four, my daughter always sees to it that I’m pampered – from massages, to warm blankets, juice cocktails, and love notes that brighten up my day. My boys have the funniest stories and jokes ever. They all share a special bond. So proud of them. They make my heart melt, my emotional meter has skyrocketed since I became a mom.
On a scale of one to ten, how loudly have you had to scream with your child (children) and why?
All scales. It always amazes me how my husband gives them an instruction just one time and they respond promptly, but with mommy it has to be on the second or third try!! I’ve adopted a lot of strategies to reduce screaming.
Tell us what you miss about your life before babies?
I miss perfectly organized rooms and spaces, sparkling clean rooms, and making myself a priority always. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything else – clean and healthy kids, sometimes messed up spaces, and constantly looking out for others before myself is the new normal.
What is your typical fitness routine?
Walks, dance, workouts – at home and at the gym.
What is your idea of self-care and how do you de-stress?
In order of priority: “Me” time: lounging by myself with worship music playing in the background; Retreats and vacations with my husband; Family road trips and vacation; Time away with cherished girlfriends.
Best motherhood advice?
Take it one day at a time. Trust the One whose grace is able to sustain you in your role as a mother. Get TRUSTED RELIABLE help to assist you every once a while. Plug-in to a support system (Physical or Virtual).
This interview is so loaded already with her honesty and relatable wisdom that is practicable,however, I want to emphasize two things that stood out for me.
First, is the importance of establishing routines with little ones ,as well as creating time to de-stress in whatever form you deem fit. Either through relaxing with a book, a cool music, working out, hanging out with your girlfriends. When you have established routines, it is so easy for things to fall into their natural places.
Second, is the precious gem of an advise to take the motherhood journey one day at a time. To see it as a ‘marathon’ and not a’ sprint’. Then at the end, the rewards would be bountiful.
Never forget that you are doing an awesome job as a mom and you simply ROCK!
“A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories.”
I have had a lot of interesting experiences with nannies in the past. I have heard different tales of people’s encounters with nannies – the good, the bad and the ugly. However, I strongly believe that it is possible to have a really pleasant experience with these wonderful people who have chosen this special vocation to provide the very needed help tailored towards their chosen family. It is in this light that I write this open letter to my future nanny/nannies.
Dear Future Nanny,
Trust all is well with you. If so, doxology. I just want to write this letter to you to avoid and prevent any strain in our precious relationship. For starters, I am a very nice person and everyone that knows me have a consensus of a word that describes me – Easy going. So basically I am trying to say I am the most awesome person you will ever work with. To be honest , I have not been too lucky with nannies in the past. In all, I have had two live-in Nannies, one live-out nanny and two baby sitters. The babysitters were okay, they did their job and it was ok. However, it was the nannies I had slight issues with. How do I begin? I want you to know that you are the one I have been waiting for, I know you are somewhere out there and somehow by some stroke of luck our paths will cross, I know you exist – perfect and unflawed. However a few things worth noting though; You will be most welcome in this place, with liberty to feel free and make yourself comfortable, However, understand that there are boundaries and personal space exist for a reason, To avoid territorial clashes and avoidable conflicts which I have no energy reserves for. Think about it, I am in residency. Let us treat each other with mutual respect. Try to follow instructions I have laid out, but I am open to suggestions. Also, I am open to constructive criticism. Otherwise, I want you to do your job and stay within the confines of your stipulated assignment and give your best to it. The fact that I opened my home and heart to you is not a license for it to be trampled on. I may be the ‘boss’ on paper but I”d rather we are friends. A few warnings though; My husband is not your jurisdiction for any reason, The way I run my home is not subject to your scrutiny, Please do not try to force-feed my child (true life story), Please, do not attempt to ‘back stab’ me by dissipating wrong facts to people, They will obviously know who is lying, Please do not believe I am a messiah with a ministry to solve all your problems, I have mine but will do all that is within my means to make you comfortable. If peradventure you have to leave, kindly give a reasonable notice, it is the least you can do, plus it is only fair except of course, if it is a matter of life and death. Please let us treat each other with mutual respect There will be times I will not feel like talking to you or anyone at all, please don’t take it personal. My life gets very busy and that’s why you are here, to help. I want you to remember that whatever you sow you will reap. Since all you will sow would be goodness. We shouldn’t have a problem.
October happens to be the breast cancer awareness month. This is why I chose to interview an amazing lady to share her inspiring story with us. Meet the supermom of this week in the person of a lady I admire because of her strength, courage, resilience and strong faith in God. Read about how this lovely Atlanta-based, mom-of-four with a resplendently effervescent personality wrestled with breast cancer and became a survivor.
Can you please tell us about yourself? My name is Faith Igunbor Omoregbe. I graduated with my master’s degree in social work 2013. I am a social worker by profession, an active youth and women leader in my local church, and a passionate volunteer at different non-profit organizations throughout the state of Georgia. I have always considered myself to be healthy, I ate responsibly and loved to exercise. I even started and maintained a fitness and nutrition awareness support group, where encouraged many to take control of their health and eating through portion control and exercise. I chose to study social work because of my desire to help or make an impact in the live of others. I am married to my best friend. I love to dance, cook and workout. My favorite color is red. I founded Have FAITH Foundation, Inc ( Breast and Prostate Cancer Financial Support foundation) during my personal fight against breast cancer in 2018.
How many children do you have?
I have four wonderful boys, 25, 16,14, and 9 years old.
What is your special mommy mantra?
“it can be done tomorrow”. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. “laughter is the best medicine” .“The Lord Himself Will Fight for me, just STAY CALM”. “Take it to the Lord in prayers”. “I love you son”. “I am proud of you son’. “Work hard now and enjoy more later”.
How can you describe your motherhood style?
I have to say my motherhood style is nurturing, understanding and reasonable, but sometimes I see a little bit of my mother coming out in me. My mother was a true Nigerian disciplinarian mother.
Can you tell us an interesting/ experience you had as a mom?
Just watching my boys growing up, watching the changes in their body and remembering how they where so attached to me everywhere to see them mature and become independent. My 3rd son followed me everywhere. I love to call him my “expensive handbag”. My oldest son’s nickname for me when he was 2-3 years old was “myfaithie”. My baby David, my last born is very emotionally, he cries when he see me crying, so I have to be careful around him. Lol
When were you diagnosed with breast cancer?
I was officially diagnosed with Breast cancer December 1st, 2017.
What stage were you diagnosed with?
Stage 2-3
How was it detected initially? Was it through scans or routine self-breast examination?
After taking a shower one day, I felt a small knot on my right breast and lymph node. I went to my OBGYN who scheduled my mammogram. After a long-awaited mammogram, ultrasound and an even longer wait time to see the doctor, they called my husband to come in and the pathology report read, “it does not look good”. I immediately felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I saw my husband cry for the first time as well. I was scheduled for a biopsy to fully confirm the result.
How did you feel when you first received the news?
On that fateful day on December 1st, I woke up that morning and opened by Bible for my morning devotion and Exodus 14:14 came to my attention. It read in bold letters “The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” I immediately knew God was telling me, “I will fight for you.” I was at work when I received a call from the pathologist who said, “As I suspected, you have an invasive breast cancer on your right breast and lymph nodes.” I became overwhelmed with fear for my loved ones, especially my children and husband. I started to think of how the treatment would affect us physically and financially, and how my children, husband and entire family would cope.
How did you tell your children about it and what was their reaction and response?
We did not tell our children right away because it was so close to Christmas and we wanted them to have good Christmas. My 1st chemo and port surgery were Christmas week, few days before that my sister came and took my children to NC with her so they could have a good Christmas which was a great idea. I was very sick and weak during that period. We told our oldest son; he cried and helped his dad in taking care of me that whole period. We told the rest of the kids when they got home and educated them about the treatment and assured them everything was going to be okay with me. We talked about the word of God and reminded them about the promises of God. They actually told us they knew something was wrong and they were glad we told them and telling them ceased their fears. I stayed positive throughout treatments, keeping my faith in God. God kept us in His perfect PEACE.
Do you have a family history of breast cancer?
No, I don’t have a family history. The hospital did all the genetic testing to determine the presence of BRCA 1 and BRCA 2, and no cancer gene was found.
How strong was your support system at that difficult time? How helpful were they?
During this challenging time, my husband and children became my caregivers. The support and love we received from friends, family members, church members, and complete strangers were unforgettable. Family members and church members brought us food, cleaning supplies, hats and scarves to cover my hair loss, clothes for my changing weight, prayers and words of encouragement. We are thankful for the assistance we received from people during my treatment. Every little bit we received made a great difference and helped me focus on my healing and helped my husband focused on being my caregiver.
Can you kindly share your treatment process with us?
I went through several rounds of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation and was declared cancer-free. I vividly remember feeling pain all over my body, being easily fatigued after performing simple tasks that we all take for granted, such as walking up and down the stairs, doing laundry, cooking, walking, and cleaning the house. These simple tasks during that time became daunting chores. I also remembered experiencing a loss of consciousness episode after fainting at the hospital the night of my breast surgery. I had several blood transfusions and even had to go back for another surgery to remove the blood clots found a few weeks after my mastectomy.
Did you face any challenges or set-backs during your treatments?
Everyday tasks became challenging, joint and bone pains from chemo, skin burnt from radiation. From someone that was consistently on the move, running 5k around metro Atlanta, working out 5-6 days a week to someone that could hardly walk up and down the stairs. There is a tendency to believe that if you are young, healthy and have no family history you don’t get breast cancer. To say that it rocked my world is an understatement. I went through all the phases. At first, I experienced disbelief. “I can’t have cancer”. It went against everything I believed to be true. I am young, I have faith in God, I am healthy and have no family history, I can’t get breast cancer. At least that’s what I used to think. I quickly learned that cancer doesn’t discriminate, but I truly believe my faith in God, being healthy and active before my diagnosis helped me get through it. I remember requesting during our prayer session that I wanted to feel the love of God all around me throughout the journey and I did. God showed me how much I am loved by Him. I still experience some set back. I am still working on losing the weight I gained during treatment and trying to get my stamina back or close to where is used to be.
Can you share with us how you overcome those obstacles?
“The Lord Himself will Fight for You, Just STAY CALM”. After the diagnosis, We started praying about everything and focused on the promises of the WORD of God. God started to open doors from the right facility, treatment plan, resources and support. My husband and myself started studying and listening to every preaching regarding FAITH in the healing Blood of Jesus. We prayed over every treatment and asked GOD to perfect everything that entered my body, we prayed over the doctors and nurses that were on my treatment team, we prayed over the chemo, medication, we prayed for financial favors and blessings that will make these burden light. My husband prayed for me every day. The words of God helped us overcome the obstacles. There is power in the word of God. Isa 53:5 “By His stripes, we were healed”.
What message do you have for women out there?
“The first thing sisters is finding your relationship with God and knowing who you are in Christ Jesus. I love this quote “However softly we speak, God is near enough to hear us.” You are not alone even when you feel lonely. Know that you are loved, nothing can separate you from the love of God. Sisters, you are beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. Take care of yourself, know your body. Go for your annually check-up and yearly mammogram, don’t compare yourself. When you fall, rise again. There is no perfect mother. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Speak life to your children in every situation. Its okay to love on yourself too. Sisters, lets lookout for each other .”Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God, and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:7,8(KJV)
One is the things that stood out to me about this interview is the fact that when she learnt the news, her initial thoughts were about ensuring the emotional well-being of her children. When she was going through the greatest fight of her life, all she was thinking about was ensuring her kids were safe and happy. Her desire was that they would have a great Christmas even when she was getting a “crappy” one. A mother’s heart! Truly inspiring.
Another striking statement in this interview that almost brought tears to my eyes was that fact that she said “My husband prayed for me everyday”. We all need husbands, friends, rock-solid support systems that will pray for us everyday and help make light our personal daily burdens.
I hope you have all been truly inspired.
Remember, take your health seriously, never joke with your monthly self breast examination. Keep your diaries marked with your screening appointments. Get your pap smears. Get your yearly mammogram if you are over 40. Eat healthy, think healthy. Exercise and basically make healthy choices daily. Kudos, moms for all you do !
“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
My husband and I try to be very intentional with our parenting. Since everyone keeps telling us that there is no particular manual for parenting. I honestly wish there was something like that. That perfect ‘one-size-fit-all’ parenting style that ultimately yields the “perfect kids” by human standards. Therefore, I try to do my research. I try to seek answers to questions I have about parenting. Believe me, I have loads of them. One of the questions I asked was how to raise children with no sense of entitlement. The question was born out of an observation I made about the attitude of some youths we currently have in circulation. Being entitled is the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. It is okay to be self-assured and be stoically confident, but the moment an individual goes about thinking that the world owes him or her something, then there is a huge problem. So I decided to find out practical things to do to set our children in the right direction with zero sense of entitlement. Itemized below are some of the answers I discovered and came up with;
1 Serve others with your children. Let them see you help others. Let them see the needs of others, so that they learn to be grateful for their portion. They learn to appreciate that there is nothing they have that they have not received.
2 Allow them to stumble. Do not attempt to cushion the fall. Help your child understand that we live in a world governed by principles and that there is something called cause and effect. That there is a consequence for all actions and inactions as well. Stop the ‘helicopter parenting’ business. Don’t try to shelter your child from every disappointment life brings because then they don’t learn to face the reality of life. Let your children understand that sometimes in life, we fail at things but it is okay. As long as we identify why it happened and we do better next time. Not blaming someone else for something that went wrong. Don’t hide your failures. It does not depreciate your value before their eyes. The truth be told, every parent was not always first position in every class!
3 Understand your main goal as a parent. This should not be to make you children happy but to nurture kind children who have learnt the value of contentment with a heart of gratitude.
4 Connect them with your roots. Tell them your story..How you defied all odds and overcame adversity to get to where you are today. Take them to see landmarks of your little beginnings.
5 Teach them to say thank you always. Let them imbibe a culture of gratitude. Being grateful for everything. I tend to hold on to stuffs I hand out to my children, until they say thank you, I don’t usually let go of whatever item it is till I hear the magical phrase. For instance, if I hand over a popsicle to a child, I stretch my hand to the child, and as the child reaches out to pick up the popsicle, I do not let go until the child says ‘thank you’. Gradually my little ones have imbibed that culture of saying thanks. So they know if mommy is holding on to something they want and mommy has, they need to say a phrase which is ‘thank you’.
6 Do not negotiate with your kids. I know sometimes in parenting, negotiating with your kids is the easiest way out, but on a long term basis, you are damaging that child. The child learns to associate doing the right thing with getting something in return. A child does not want to put on his or her leather boots on a cold chilly winter morning because the child wanted a pair of colorful sandals. You offer the child some treat because you are running late for work and could not afford a show-down so you ‘bribe’ your child. Don’t do that. Don’t negotiate with a ‘terrorist’! That’s a joke.
7 Follow through. Enforce whatever you say you would do even if it breaks your heart. Trying to discipline kids is a tough terrain. You are practically ‘saving’ the child’s life. The child doesn’t like it, you don’t like, but you are the parent and you have a responsibility to do the needful. Stick with it and let the child thank you in the future. However if you don’t see through whatever you said you would do, you lose your respect. That won’t be a good thing. If you say you are taking the iPad away for the week, don’t change your mind and bring it out after two days. It sends conflicting messages to kids that further reinforces a deep sense of entitlement.
8 Give your child chores. Age appropriate chores teach responsibility, work ethic, and life-skills. So many adults enter the world out of college and don’t know how to cook, do laundry, clean a toilet, or even rinse a dish because they were never expected to do any work around the house. Let them do chores. We are in a world with children with intelligence at a coding level, doing awesome things with technology at a very tender age, yet they are let off the hook with simple chores around the house. Let them learn responsibility early. My little ones know one of their chores is to lay their beds when they wake up. Even though I end up doing 95 % of the actual bed laying, its a good thing for them to be involved.
7 Teach your child to give, to share and to save. The best way to do this is to model this. Teach the child to pay a tithe to God, to save for the future and to share with others. It is never too early to start. You cannot enforce what you don’t do, that would be tantamount to hypocrisy. I bought for each of my child a piggy bank and we regularly invest. That’s good start. Saving teaches money management skills at an early age. This ultimately gives the child a shot at financial responsibility and a reduced tendency towards a sense of entitlement.
8 Help your child learn patience. Make them wait. Waiting could be painful sometimes, but it helps kids acquire the virtue of patience. A lot of adults in our generation have a hard time delaying gratification, therefore we want their generation to do better.
9 Help them appreciate that there is time for everything. That is my latest parenting mantra. I let my kids know when we go to the mall for example that we came to the store to buy XYZ and not ABC because that was not the time for it. There is time for everything in life. That in life there are seasons and that is standard.
10 Pray for your child. Parents can cross all the “t” and dot all the “i”s, nothing is guaranteed. However, with prayer you commit the child into the hands of an ever faithful God , then something is guaranteed.
“Parenting is not giving your child everything they want. Parenting is not being your child’s friend. Parenting is about preparing your child to be a useful and respectful person in society”.– GloZell
My son woke up about 5 am that morning and found me working on my computer. Actually working on a personal project. Then he asked me to read him a book. Really, at 5 am in the morning. I have a strong feeling he is going to be an early reader. He has really keen interest and genuine love for books.
So I abandoned my personal pursuits and read ” I am Tippitty Too” Ilustrated by Akemi Gutierrez. He kept laughing and giggling as I initially started reading the book reluctantly , but I had to join his infectious laughing bouts because of the funny rhymes of the book. “I am Tippity Too. Who are you? I am bear. Tippity tippity tear….”
So I end up having one of those golden mom moments with my four year old son. Coincedentally it was the morning of mother’s day , 2019. The best gift. The sound of joyful laughter and the enduring maternal bond.
I have listed below a number of things you can do to adequately prepare your child to read without stress or tears
1.Choose books with words that rhyme. Dr Seus books are great. This would be a great source of lyrical fun for the child. Books with short rhyming sentences are great.
2. Choose colorful books. The words are not enough to attract and sustain the attention of a pre-reader. Pick books with beautiful pictures and attractive illustrations.
3. While reading take pauses to talk about the pictures you are seeing. From time to time you can add some of your own embellishments to make the story more descriptive. I find myself adding extra phrases while reading to make it more fun.
4. Pick books that fit your child’s interest. For my son it is any book with Trains and Dinosaurs, while for my daughter who is a proper ‘girly-girl’, it is anything with barbie, princesses and Fancy Nancy. However let them explore new interests by allowing them make supervised choices on trips to the library or a bookstore. Plus it’s also fun for them to make their own choices of books to read. If the book captures the child’s attention as much as it did to the child in the picture below, such that the child finds it hard to let the book go, then that is a good thing!
5. Pick books that are easy for your child to handle. Pop-up books are also great.
6. Also check out the “Picks of the week”. Don’t hesitate to ask the librarian for recommendations. They are experts! Actually, most Saturdays we make trips to the library and my children love it and actually look forward to it.
7. Always make treat available after a trip to a book store or the library. When they come to know that there would be treat after the library, it makes the library look more like ‘heaven’ to them, only one full of books.
“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.” — Frederick Douglass “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.”— Dr. Seuss, “I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!”
